December 23, 2011

Mid-Week Update

Just a quick update.  This week has been going really well!!!  I have been doing my ERP scripts almost everyday.  I had my therapy session yesterday and my therapist said that after a few weeks something will "click" in your mind and the stuff that my mind comes up with shouldn't bother me as much.  Well - I THINK it's working!  (knock on wood!!)

I'm sure it's a combination of a few things:  determination, regular ERP, "time of the month" (ie: NOT pms), and a number of other external factors. I am also trying to be very mindful of not enjoying it too much.  This too shall pass, and I am sure I will be faced with some OCD challenges soon.  Especially because I'm going to my Dad's house for Christmas and being around my family is ALWAYS very stressful. 

I'll take it for now.  I'm sitting on my couch enjoying sipping on a coffee and Bailey's just before I have to go get ready for work.  I think the key to maintaining some of my gains is to be consistent and continue to do my ERP with every opportunity that I have. 

I've been reading a book called "The Mindful way through Anxiety" (I think I mentioned it in a previous post?) which is great.  I've highlighted a number of words that have provided me some great insight, and I will write some of those down soon. 

This Christmas is going to be a very difficult one for me - the first Christmas without my Mom.  Last night I had several dreams about her - some with her well and happy - others with her sick and dying.  I will get through it but it's not easy. 

I hope everyone has a peaceful and relaxing time for the next little while


  1. Good work with keeping up on the ERP. It's definitely tough to do. I haven't found the right script for myself yet, so I have been trying to expose myself to more "real" things out in the public and on TV. Always important not to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays and take some time for yourself. Otherwise we all know the OCD will run wild.

  2. I will have to check out that book, and I'll look forward to your thoughts on it.
    I'm glad the ERP is going well and that you are enjoying the moment.
    I hope Christmas with your family will not be too stressful. Good luck with that.
    I will be thinking about you as you go through Christmas without your mom for the first time. I lost my father 14 years ago, but Christmas is still not the same without him.

  3. I hope Christmas was okay...getting through it without your loved one for the first time is are in my thoughts.

  4. Yeah - not so much OCDtalk. Take a look at my latest post.
    Thanks everyone for the thoughts. It helps to know I'm not "abnormal" for wanting to grieve my Mom still. It's a process that takes time.