December 12, 2011

Ramping up the ERP

I just got through another hellish PMS time.  I go through it every six weeks or so, and every single time it feels like hell.  I don't know why - when it arrives - I can't just accept it, let it be there and know that "this too shall pass".  Then, one day it just gets better.....drives me nuts. 

Does anyone else notice that their anxiety is so much worse in the mornings?  Geez – some days it is all I can do to just get up out of bed.  As soon as I am conscious enough to be “awake” my mind starts racing.  In fact – I think it starts before that. 

Anyway, after struggling for a few days, after a few really great days, my therapist thought it was time to ramp up the ERP and really kick OCD in the teeth.  So, he had me write an exposure script during our therapy session.  It was really hard!  But also felt soooo good to really slam OCD.  So, my homework for this week is to write a different exposure script every day and email it to my therapist (accountability).  I think it’s exactly the type of ERP that really hits home for me. 

And.....the other day, Lolly from “Lolly’s Hope Blog” commented that she saw an episode of “Say Yes to the Dress” that was about awoman with OCD, so I decided to check it out.  I didn’t find that episode, but during my search on my PVR, I found an episode about a lesbian couple who were getting married.  I taped it.  I’m going to watch it tonight. 

So, the good news is that I’m doing fairly well.  I’m almost scared to write that because I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop so-to-speak. 

7 comments:

  1. Sounds like things are looking up! I watched a documentary by Lisa Ling the other night called "pray the gay away". The anxiety really wasn't there...just the rumination. Definitely an improvement. Keep us updated on your ERP :) Especially since our themes are the exact same!

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  2. I've seen that documentary. Isn't rumination sooooo wonderful (sarcasm)? I definitely think that hormones play a large role in my OCD ramping up, but it's something I don't have any control over. So frustrating!!!

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  3. I love that image of kicking OCD in the teeth!

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  4. Don't worry, POC, when you get to be my age you won't have to worry about hormones :)

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  5. An early christmas present for yourself- doing an erp of your own choosing-Good for you!!!!!!

    Congrats!

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  6. OCDTalk - that's actually what scares me! Will my OCD get worse when I don't have any hormones anymore???? Eeeek. Believe me - I've obsessed about that too. Thanks for all the support everyone!!! It helps more than you know!!!

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