February 25, 2012

What to say about OCD?

I’ve been doing fairly well lately.  The real “acknowledgement” or.....epiphany that I had about Core Beliefs, combined with mindfulness, and refusing to avoid triggers seems to be working for me these days.  I’m going into a period of PMS so we shall see if that continues.  Keep your fingers crossed.  I definitely will!

The one thing that I’ve realized – and this may seem so obvious to many of you – is that Core Beliefs have been formed from experiences that I had while growing up.  They are automatic, and KEEP ME STUCK (In fact, by giving too much weight to my core beliefs, I almost create a self-fulfilling prophecy.).  And in many instances THEY AREN’T RELEVANT IN THE PRESENT!  I’ve really tried to be aware of my core beliefs playing a role in my life lately, and have reminded myself that I have a choice now;  I can decide whether I want to behave independently from what my mind is saying to me. 

This has really helped as I have begun to date again.  The ROCD has been lingering in the background, and I have had moments when I have given into my compulsions (checking, ruminating, avoiding, etc).  The threat here is that if I don’t compulse, the worst might happen – my core beliefs (being unloveable by a man, and all men are inherently assholes) might be proven true.  I’m enjoying feeling a little more in control of my life and this whole experience.  I’ve been in this spot before, but this time it’s with a little more wisdom.  I’m appreciating dating just for the fun of it, and the ERP experience, not with the goal of “disproving my core beliefs” (wow – that’s a lot of pressure!), or finding a husband!
I’m reading a book called “The User’s Guide to the Human Mind”, written by Shawn T. Smith.  The book is based on the principles of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), which I find is very similar to Mindfulness Based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.  It is a short book, and the author writes with humour, which I enjoy.  I’ve read many books on ACT, and for some reason, I really like the way the author describes the way our mind works to preserve our safety and survival.  His explanation really seems to have “stuck” with me.  I definitely recommend reading it.  Has anyone else read "The User's Guide to the Human Mind"?

6 comments:

  1. POC, I'm glad things are working. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you over the PMS! :-)

    How were you able to determine what your core beliefs were? Did you move backwards from your thoughts to what they were based on?

    Yesterday, my therapist helped me to see how the mind makes associations. And those associations can create certain beliefs we have, like "worrying keeps my loved ones safe" or "If I'm too happy, God will zap me." I'm still processing all of that, but the whole therapy session was one of those "aha" times.

    I haven't read that book, but it sounds good.

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  2. I haven't read that book but I always appreciate recommendations.....I will definitely put that one "on my list." Thanks! And I'm glad to hear things have been going well......

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  3. Glad to hear you're doing well POC! Keep us posted on how things go, esp with the PMS approaching!!

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  4. I discovered my core beliefs, too, through therapy. I nearly cried, they were so negative. Like yours, they developed when I was little. I am trying to challenge them, but it's so difficult.

    Good luck with yours.

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  5. I'm glad you're doing so well. No, i haven't read that book either, but it sounds good. Thanks.

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