October 20, 2012

Much Better this Week


Hindsight is 20/20 and sometimes when I am struggling through PMS, it is really hard to keep perspective.  It is abundantly clear that my OCD ramps up immensely when I have PMS, as evidenced by my post last week!!! 

I am feeling MUCH better this week.....much more balanced and my OCD is back in its place again.  I find it so amazing how my perspective on things can shift so substantially, just due to some stupid hormones.  Alas, I can’t control it – so I must do what I can to cope.  I do find it amazing though how as quickly as it can hit me, it can also disappear. 

Once again I am reminded of one of my favourite quotes:  “What you Resist, Persists”.  When I start to feel myself feeling crappy and I start to sense my view of the world becoming “skewed” this is what I do.  I panic.  I freak out.  WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT GO AWAY?  I suspect all humans react this way for the most part, but those of us with OCD know that this reaction is one of the worst things we can do!  Mindfulness is the key here.  Meditating....living in the moment.  It really ONLY in the moment when we have the choice to move towards a healthier way of living or staying stuck. 

I slipped back into some ROCD compulsions.  I didn’t see what I was doing.  I wasn’t being mindful.  And it backfired on me.  Couple that with raging, horrible, angry hormones, and WHAM!  You get despair. 

Don’t get me wrong – I fully recognize that I have issues re: healthy relationships with men (I guess that's called ROCD in my case!).  But it’s the URGENCY with which it felt like it HAD TO BE SOLVED RIGHT NOW OR ELSE SOMETHING BAD WAS GOING TO HAPPEN that was so painful.  It was also that urgency that tipped me to realize that it was related to OCD (actually, it was my therapist who pointed it out to me).  Heck, we ALL have issues of varying levels with healthy relationships.  I can only learn and do the best that I can IN THE MOMENT.  And I’m not even in a relationship at the moment.  So maybe I should just worry about that when I am.  :o)

I am back focused on taking care of myself.  I am back focusing on pursuing what I value in life....my goals.....living life to the fullest IN THE MOMENT.  I am working really hard to take care good care of myself.  Next year I want to go to Africa and volunteer.  I am so incredibly passionate about making this happen, and it makes me so happy to think about it.  THIS is what I am focusing on now.  Realizing dreams.  Living life and letting it just happen........trusting that I will figure it out along the way.   
I would love to hear what others do to cope with their OCD during PMS time. 

5 comments:

  1. Volunteering in Africa? What an amazing goal that is.....Good for you. I hope you'll blog about it!

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  2. I'm glad you're feeling so much better! I don't think I have PMS so much, but I can see a pretty direct link between sleep level and anxiety level when I look at my mood records. And last night, I decided to stay up late to read a book. Then today, suddenly, I'm feeling worse. But telling myself it is just because I went to bed ridiculously late last night at least makes it just a temporary problem.

    Intentionally taking care of myself helps me, too. It might not help the day I start, but it seems to help down the road.

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  3. I feel like I could have written this exact same post myself. My OCD (which is pretty much identical to your in themes) is horrible during PMS. It is usually a week to a week and a half before that I start feeling horrible. EVERY SINGLE TIME it happens everything becomes blurry again and I get back into the OCD world where like you said, I am not in the moment and reality becomes completely misconstrued. I am trying to work on my PMS through nutrition. There are several different types of vitamins and minerals that are known to help with PMS and I have been making sure to include them with my supplements. After starting some new supplements my period was much better the last time around. I also have a lot of physical issues (major headaches the day before, fatigue, and aches and pains). These side effects were also much better. Research points to magnesium being the most helpful vitamin for PMS along with a few others.

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    1. Thanks for the tips re: PMS!! And it helps to know that others deal with the same challenges. I would say the two things that help me the most with PMS are: vitamins/supplements and exercise. It sounds like we've done some of the similar research and I'm taking Magnesium too! I exercise pretty vigorously too - at least 4 times/week and that really helps. Have you found the vitamins/minerals to help?

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  4. My sister went to volunteer in Africa this year and said it was a wonderful experience! I don't think i could do that because you have to touch the raw meat to cut it up and to feed it to the lions etc. ( she went to a wildlife preserve in Nambia). And the ocd would have a field day with that! Watching the animals and hanging out with other volunteers and the people at the preserve would be fun tho. Have a great time!!

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